in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
