For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
40s are totally the cure
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
