so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
