Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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