what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
