I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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