if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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