This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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