He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
