this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
