Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
