I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
