sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
