we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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