I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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