Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's shark week go big or go home
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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