I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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