I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
