I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
