i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize