I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize