take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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