I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
