left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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