well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize