I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
