You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
