Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
