He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
