Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
