Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
honey bunches of taint.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize