I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
foreskin is a definite game changer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
