We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
