I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize