Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Success! We fucked roommates!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
