the condom got lost in my hair
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
