i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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