so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
