The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize