I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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