OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
