I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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