Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
