I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
