Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
