dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
