I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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