your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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