Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
