ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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