why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
