So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
