Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
