When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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