apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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