you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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