I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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