whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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