And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
