Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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