Whod you bang
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize