he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's blow job season.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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