Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
